Top 10 Man Meat Movies of 2011
Jan. 2nd, 2012 01:06 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
mugglesHi guys, it has been a while but I bring an offering of peace and prosperity!
Most of the time I go to movies because, you know, I like to watch movies. But sometimes while I am at that movie it is exciting because they have tossed in a little treat for me! Such as a shirtless gentleman or 300. So instead of compiling an actual "Best of" or whatever, Jeff suggested that I compile my list of Best Man Meat, and he helped me.
10. Twilight Breaking Dawn:
Yeah, I saw this movie. IN A THEATER. What now??? Expectedly it was pretty terrible, but I have to give credit where credit is due when, literally within about 15 seconds of the movie starting, you have the one guy who is famous mostly for taking his shirt off, TAKE HIS SHIRT OFF! Brilliant, timesaving move.
9. Friends With Benefits:
I wanted this movie to be better because in my opinion, JT and Mila are for sure the hotter pair of stringless, benefitted friends. But in any case I think JT mostly took this role for the gratuitous butt shots, and no complaints about Mila either.
8. The Eagle:
Man this movie THIS MOVIE!!! Such an epic love story of epic brodom in whatever time period it was supposed to be in. Like Rome or Greece or something I think, I don't know, all I know is that this was a pretty cute romantic period dramedy and I hope they are very happy together.
7. Thor:
Male Marvel Executive, somewhere: "But comic book properties are predominantly targeted to young males! How do we ensure a female audience will be satisfied with our films???"
Female Marvel Executive, somewhere: "I have an idea... it's crazy, but it just might work."
Tumblr: THX
6. Captain America:
Remember when the plot of this movie was literally "underaverage guy turns into superhunk?" Because I do.
5. What's Your Number:
Hello again, Chris Evans. Honestly, I was actually kind of surprised/scandalized by how blatantly and gratuitously they showed him off, but then I kept watching and was okay with it.
4. Crazy, Stupid, Love:
When Jeff was helping me compile this list (seriously, he was), he was surprised when I mentioned this movie over Drive, which may have been the superior Gosling film this year, but by no means was the superior Goosemeat film this year. So I just made the above face at him and found a gif to illustrate my evidence.
3. Shame:
Mainstream movie with an actually attractive guy's weiner! Mainstream movie with an actually attractive guy's weiner! MAINSTREAM MOVIE WITH AN ACTUALLY ATTRACTIVE GUY'S WEINER!
2. Fast Five:
I was actually debating putting this one at the #1 spot, despite there being no actual shirtlessness within the movie. There's just such a buffet of man meats on display here... like one of those Brazilian meat buffets where they bring the meats to your table. Just like that. The Rock on Vin Diesel?? Sung Kang?? Tyrese?? Paul Walker I guess????
1. Warrior:
Look at all the meat they put on the poster, because they knew they had so much more meat to spare!
Most of the time I go to movies because, you know, I like to watch movies. But sometimes while I am at that movie it is exciting because they have tossed in a little treat for me! Such as a shirtless gentleman or 300. So instead of compiling an actual "Best of" or whatever, Jeff suggested that I compile my list of Best Man Meat, and he helped me.
10. Twilight Breaking Dawn:
Yeah, I saw this movie. IN A THEATER. What now??? Expectedly it was pretty terrible, but I have to give credit where credit is due when, literally within about 15 seconds of the movie starting, you have the one guy who is famous mostly for taking his shirt off, TAKE HIS SHIRT OFF! Brilliant, timesaving move.
9. Friends With Benefits:
I wanted this movie to be better because in my opinion, JT and Mila are for sure the hotter pair of stringless, benefitted friends. But in any case I think JT mostly took this role for the gratuitous butt shots, and no complaints about Mila either.
8. The Eagle:
Man this movie THIS MOVIE!!! Such an epic love story of epic brodom in whatever time period it was supposed to be in. Like Rome or Greece or something I think, I don't know, all I know is that this was a pretty cute romantic period dramedy and I hope they are very happy together.
7. Thor:
Male Marvel Executive, somewhere: "But comic book properties are predominantly targeted to young males! How do we ensure a female audience will be satisfied with our films???"
Female Marvel Executive, somewhere: "I have an idea... it's crazy, but it just might work."
Tumblr: THX
6. Captain America:
Remember when the plot of this movie was literally "underaverage guy turns into superhunk?" Because I do.
5. What's Your Number:
Hello again, Chris Evans. Honestly, I was actually kind of surprised/scandalized by how blatantly and gratuitously they showed him off, but then I kept watching and was okay with it.
4. Crazy, Stupid, Love:
When Jeff was helping me compile this list (seriously, he was), he was surprised when I mentioned this movie over Drive, which may have been the superior Gosling film this year, but by no means was the superior Goosemeat film this year. So I just made the above face at him and found a gif to illustrate my evidence.
3. Shame:
Mainstream movie with an actually attractive guy's weiner! Mainstream movie with an actually attractive guy's weiner! MAINSTREAM MOVIE WITH AN ACTUALLY ATTRACTIVE GUY'S WEINER!
2. Fast Five:
I was actually debating putting this one at the #1 spot, despite there being no actual shirtlessness within the movie. There's just such a buffet of man meats on display here... like one of those Brazilian meat buffets where they bring the meats to your table. Just like that. The Rock on Vin Diesel?? Sung Kang?? Tyrese?? Paul Walker I guess????
1. Warrior:
Look at all the meat they put on the poster, because they knew they had so much more meat to spare!
